The sky is bright blue today and there is still frost on the grass. It is a lovely sparking winter’s day. Dennis the Squirrel just punched a wood pigeon off the bird table.
I am so glad it is sunny today as I was feeling bleak over the weekend. It is always demoralising not getting work and I can’t help but question my own competence. Isn’t it enough to be able to do a handstand into a pool? Surely it counts that I can lose gracefully at Monopoly? Maybe they thought I was ugly? Perhaps I need to be taller? Perhaps I am crap? To distract myself from such thoughts I settled down to read the papers.
How to read the papers with visual impairment:
1) Buy papers and lug home
2) Put them in obvious place
3) Trip over them when coming out of kitchen
4) Slump into soft chair with coffee and toast near elbow. Unfurl newspapers with comfy sigh.
5) Realise can only read headlines…text a blur…need more light.
6) Drag oneself from depths of comfy chair…knock over toast.
7) Clean up toast and wonder what lifts marmite out of cream carpets…
8) Find a lighter spot in uncomfortable straight chair …sit....stand.....go back and get papers....sit…twist papers under light..strain neck..not enough light..
9) Get up and spend 20 minutes looking for magnifyer.
10) Sit down and once again squint at papers…fighting down flapping pages and juggling magnifyer. Manage to read one article and a bit of a magazine,
11) Throw all on floor in disgust
12) Remember coffee
13) Coffee cold.
Yesterday was better though. After busy day I went to the gym for a jumping-up-and-down-and-punch things class ( I DO keep telling people not to stand to close to me as I have no peripheral vision but will they listen..? They don’t make that mistake more then once though!) and afterwards met up with a friend for a glass of wine ( apparently much better then isotonic drinks for rebalancing the body…ehem....) She’s a nurse and was telling me about her last 12 hour shift. I listened open mouthed to tales of understaffing, exhaustion and bad management and feeling much abashed, resolved to stop whining about my lot for while. Well until the next post anyway!