Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Grumpy, Sleepy, Bashful and Doc.

Is it me or is it a little creepy that for the last four days here in UK all news has been been head-lining the kidnap and release of the little five year old lad in Pakistan? It is a two day story at most and surely doesn’t lead over the breakdown of the Israeli-Palestinian talks, the near extinction of the tuna fish or Beckham’s Achilles heel? I just don’t get it and immediately suspect massive conspiracy and cover up...

Well, I am grumpy.

I have a cold.

Its the kind of cold that blocks one and a half of your ears when you blow your nose making you list to one side usually into other people walking along the pavement. Its the kind of rubbish cold that threatens the imagination with flu and strep throat and bronchitis but only ever really produces phlegm. It hope it will sod off and I will wake up tomorrow fresh and without the puffy and unformed face of semi sucked jelly baby but now I worry that is just the state of my face

Anyway, its one of those things right. Like spending a small fortune on bird food then dropping a 6 litre bag of premium bird seed on the kitchen floor mid sneeze and managing to kick half of it under the fridge whilst skidding around trying to keep upright.
My, how we laughed.

That was until I tipped a plateful of warm melted butter into my lap trying to eat fish one handed whilst playing catch with the dog. I know, I know...I really do need to find a responsible adult to be on call at all times....

And talking of that I did get to spend a few days with my Mum who popped over from France. She flew into Bristol, spent a couple for days with me in the vicarage and trained with me back to Cambridge. It was lovely to see her and not really long enough but she left me with a new cafeteria, a bunch of sweet narcissus and some excellent new cleaning products – which given the buttery fish stains on the carpet, was the perfect present.
Mum and Sister: (c) T. Bush 2010
Today I also had a most interesting trip to another hospital,, where (unlike the last place I wrote about hiss boooo) the staff seem to genuinely be quite interested in the patients. I was so taken aback when the doctor actually introduced himself and offered to shake my hand I nearly fell off my seat.
I was there to have an interview about sleeplessness and sight loss and I have agreed to go back to their sleep laboratory in a few weeks time where they are going to wire me up to a load of machines that go ‘beep’. . I can’t believe they will find anything exciting and I have already apologised for wasting their time but they all seemed terrifically eager. And it might be quite good fun; a night out with someone else cooking and half a dozen people analyzing your snoring.
image from internet
‘I’m afraid you can’t bring your dog though,’ The doc looks apologetically at Grace.

‘ I’ll break it to her gently,’ I say.

Back in the full waiting room the woman behind the reception desk waves wildly in my direction and then in a stage whisper hisses; ‘As you can’t bring you dog, will you require any,,,,’ ( here she makes large circles around her eyes and head for emphasis) ‘,,,,Special Treatment?’

The room goes quiet.

‘Yes’ I say ‘I’d like everyone to be exceptionally nice to me.’

The receptionist nearly falls off her seat with giggles and I get a spattering of applause from the rest of the waiting room.

Sometimes the old lines are the best....

12 comments:

Mud in the City said...

Can you ask for champagne and roses too?

The Bug said...

Just this evening my husband (who's been sick with a cold since Sunday night) decided he must have malaria. Never mind that we live in Ohio & the most tropical place we've been lately is Charleston SC. Oh, & he had a similar incident to the bird seed - except with coffee grounds. Heh.

I'll be interested to hear the result of the sleep study.

Susan at Stony River said...

The bird seed, oh dear - sorry to laugh at that one but I did!

Bravo on the parting line at the doc's, I would have laughed out loud if I'd been there and agreed 100%. In your shoes I would have insisted on chocolates however.

I hope Happy shows up for you soon!

Fuzzled said...

Soooo funny! The bird seed - I can see it!

Do hope you feel better soon!

gigihawaii said...

Aw, that was so cute! I would want my dog next to me during the sleep study, however. Don't forget to bring your own pillow! A friend who endured that study one night regretted not bringing his. It was hard for him to sleep.

greenwords said...

Sorry about your cold, glad to hear about the nicer hospital staff though, the last lot sounded appalling! Absolutely loved your response to the receptionist - will have to try that line sometime.

Kate said...

Hi - I have been reading your blog for awhile and love it. You have a wonderful sense of humor and write beautifully. Anyway, I hope your cold is a short one. Thanks for the great posts. Kate

ad475 said...

I'm with you on the kidnap saga - couldn't believe how many times it led the news right through until the weekend. Been reunited with uncle. Been reunited with grandma. Been reunited with dad. Been reunited with BA cabin crew - definitely one of the lucky ones then. I think you're right - what bad news is being hidden?
Alison x

Chimera said...

Damn Mud...must remember to add bubbles to list of demands.

Hi Bug, man flu is a terrible thing.... did yu ever get the coffee grounds out? My bird seed is sprouting under there...will keep you poseted.

Hey there Susan,
and chocs goes on the list too right under the champange. Am waiting for Happy...perhaps Prozac for the interim..?

Hi Fuzzled! nice to have you here.. must add ya to my blog roll,


Thanks Gigi,
Excellent advice and have picked out pillow and matching slippers on the back of it! (I can't imagine I'll sleep anyway...)

Hello greenwords and ta very much for sweet comment. Usually one thinks of the best lines about 5 hours after the event...got lucky on that one.

Hi Kate and thanks so much!
After reading your flu expieience on your blog I felt mighty mollified! My cold was a mere mosquito bite! Hope you are feeling stronger again and thanks for reading my blurb!

Hi Allison,
Yep...it IS downrright bizzarre!!! Or just really lazy reportage? Nah...going to stick with plot cover-up.

T xxxx

nmj said...

Colds are the devil himself. Hope you have recovered by now. You look very like your mum. I am glad she got you some fine products that will erase the buttery fish... Honey, I am sure you cheered up that whole clinic with your sharp, intelligent humour. Take care x

karen said...

Hi! I've been away so long from everybody's blogs (including my own), and now finally catching up on all your news. Have just read a couple of months' worth of your blog, and enjoyed reading all the updates very much! Hope you're feeling much better by now...

Val said...

hope you are feeling better by now - ugh - that cold stuff is the pits; definitely ask for champagne and roses too!! hehe