Thursday, 17 May 2012

My Post Doc









Two months ago Dad died. It was the 17th March 2012 at 3pm, Pretoria time almost exactly. He was buried in Lusaka, Zambia on the following Thursday and his memorial was held at the UNZA chapel on the Friday. This is the first thing I have written, apart from unreadable journals and my speech for the memorial since.

I love..loved...him with all my heart and right now the shock of it all is beginning to wear off and the acid grief is giving me constant belly ache. Ho hum...  He was my Dad, my friend...we made each other laugh and I think we made each other proud.  It was a privlilege to be there when he headed off and an honour to see the courage and kindness of my siblings, Rachma, Zoe and Ben, my Mum Ruth, my aunt, Jackie, his dear cousin Irving and Dad's great friends and colleagues in Lusaka; Adam, SJ, Vernon, Guy, Charlotte, Caroline, Grant, Mwitchi, Patricia, Wille,  Luo, Simon, Cynthia, Alan, Shenda, Mwangala, all the Team Hospice Chilanga. the Travelling Rabbi, Michael Galaun, Seb and all the wonderful folk, to many to mention, that helped with his burial and the memorial  Thank you so much.
Next week I move to Wiltshire. Life's funny that way.
Long Life! Take care and if you love someone give them a bloody great hug and tell 'em so. 

12 comments:

Tum Kazunga said...

Beautiful Tanvir. It is hard losing a parent but one day you'll wake up and the sun will just seem to shine that much brighter and feel that much warmer...

That stomach clenching pain will go and what will be left will be the memories of the happy times...

the quirks, the laughs, the dramas, and of course the lessons that your Dad will keep giving you for the rest of your life.

Much love and talk soon,
Tum

The Bug said...

What Tum said... :)

I know the pain of losing a beloved parent. It goes and comes, and goes and comes. Randomly, and sometimes just as piercing as when it first happened. But, perversely, I like the stab of grief because then I also really remember the fabulous person that was my mother.

Thinking of you as you grieve & move!

richard chanter said...

What a lovely piece and some super photos. He was so kind to me when I really needed a friend as well as a doctor and I will never forget him. Be strong as you are, he would want that xxx

nmj said...

Hey, I am so sorry to read about your dad, and wish you strength for the 'acid grief'. warmest wishes, NASIM x

Val said...

my comments keep disappearing - this is beautiful and heartfelt, and he will always with with you xx hope the move is going ok?

fashion bride said...

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

Anonymous said...

So sad to hear about the death of Dr Bush. I last met him with my Polish wife at Chiawa about 10 years ago. We talked a lot about Polish roots, Zambia and of course Fishing! He looked after me at Minbank when I lived in Lusaka and was a top class GP and member of the community.

family Affairs said...

So sad about your father - will always cherish the evening I spent with him and my gorgeous father too who I miss hugely. I'm taking his ashes back to the Vic Falls in September with my two brothers....how is Wiltshire? Lx

Chimera said...

Thank you so much everyone. I truly appreciate your comments (and there was another lovely one that seems to have got lost somewhere. If you did comment and it is not showing here please let me know or try and post it again!)
I am still not really sure if I have understood quite what has happened. Processing ongoing. But I am alright and my move to Wiltshire has gone really well! Will start posting again in the next couple of days and in the meantime thank you all again. Tanvi x

Fuzzled said...

Dear T just caught up with your blog as I jump started mine. Biggest hugs and love xx

Suzie said...

What great pics of your Dad. I love the beach ones. I cant believe its almost been a year

Lucy Campbell said...

I loved meeting your dad....I took my father's ashes back to Zambia with my two brother's and we took him to the Devil's Pool at the Victoria Falls and released him there (if I'd have known how f'g scary it was I might have thought twice...) - so they're together in their beloved country drinking gin and tonics. How are you doing? Long time no speak!! Glad to see PHD going well - Lx