Thursday, 12 June 2008

You Lookin' At Me?

Taxi driver: You got tunnel vision then..

Me: I..err. well ye…..

Taxi driver: Its that stick what give it away. I saw it and I thought that one’s got tunnel vision. I was going to give you a hand but then you was in already.

Silence

Me: (realising I was supposed to comment) Err …so you know about …tunnel vision..

Taxi Driver: Yeah I meet lots of them people and their dogs. In fact I am in charge of organising a training thing…um..whasit called?

Me: An awareness training?

Taxi driver: Yeah, yeah that’s right. Awareness training.

Me: That’s great. What on earth made you decide to do that?

Taxi Driver: Well we have to really. One of our drivers ..he’s foreign ..he wouldn’t take this woman in his cab..it was the dog. He just refused..and it was raining and that.
Poor thing. She ended up going on her way crying and it was even night…and then there were complaints.

Me: (Poor, poor, poor woman) Poor woman.

Taxi Driver: The bloke wouldn’t believe he had done nuffink wrong. He took it all the way to Crown Court before they threw it out.

Me: What an ass…idiot. So its because of him..?

Taxi Driver: Not really. His mate. See, he gave his taxi insurance over to his mate and his mate won’t take them people either. I’ve given him a warning..I’ve told him that as a licensed cabbie he bloody has to unless he applies for special dispensation for allergy or that.
(pause)
I mean I take them all the time. Just have a hoover in the back for the dog hair. Its no trouble. With a hoover. I like dogs.

Silence

Me: (Oh good grief..more?) So you are organising an awareness…

Taxi Driver: Yeah that’s right. That one will be there. The one what won’t take them people. He’s foreign too. I think they probably eat them dogs or something in their country…that’s the problem.

Me: (Sweet Jesus!) Yeaaahh….I think it is to do with issues of cleanliness and purity..some conflict with religion although I have not ever met a mullah who says Guide Dogs are unclean..

Taxi Driver: Mu..wha?

Me: Never mind..It’s great what you are doing.

Taxi Driver: Well..as I say I had to really. There will be this blind lady telling us stuff and her dog and her daughter. You know and we’ll even take her out for a nice pub lunch after.

Me: I am sure she’ll be really pleased..

Taxi driver: Yeah well.. its hard for these people..they don’t have much of a life do they…

Me: (?!!!***?) Apparently not…Oh sorry..must answer my phone….….

2 comments:

tam said...

oh goddess! don't know whether to laugh or cry. like i say, i wanna see psycho ninja chimera in action. that stick was made for...
keep em coming, love. there's a movie in this somewhere...

tinku said...

Oh. My. God.