Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Extra Dimension

Ta for all the lovely comments folks… I certainly will try all the tips and I am already feeling annoyingly perkier today especially as I haven’t been sucked into an alternate universe or exploded.

I did watch the very excited gaggle of sweaty scientists flick a switch. Nothing obviously tele -friendly happened apart from the popping of a champagne cork so there we all stood holding our noses, our eyes squeezed tight shut and then, finally, the head honcho scientist (him in the Very Bad Cardigan) says ‘So now we can begin’.
Eh? ‘Begin’?
Turns out the atoms haven’t even collided yet. They are just picking up speed. Nothing may happen for a couple of weeks...they might not find Dark Matter for two years!

Realising I couldn’t sustain that level of apocalyptic terror for two weeks, I had breakfast and put away the DVD horror film ‘Event Horizon’ which I had been watching for tips last night.

I am a bit confused. I assume this is all to further our knowledge of ..you know ..’stuff’ ..’quanta’…in order to eventually source infinite abundant free energy or open a hole into a fifth dimension we can shove all the NeoCons, Creationists and lunatic fringe religious fundamentalists in with a hearty ‘don’t -you -wish- you’d -been- more -open -minded- now’ guffaw.

Or could it be just a very expensive diversion from the fact the world is actually pretty shit right now and no one wants to face up to it. Perhaps they thought that scaring the pants off us by performing incomprehensible experiments in a basement in Geneva would toughen us up in the face of crumbling ecosystems, posturing war lords, disease and poverty. I am confused. Why now? I do not want to be a Luddite but I don’t like to be both frightened by things completely out of my control and then patronised because I don’t have a handle on string theory. It makes me irritated and more likely to join the baying mob demanding our money back and petitioning for a couple of those scientists to spend 20 minutes on an AIDS vaccine.

Oh gawd! I am sorry to be so reactionary on this special Big Bang Day. I am just jealous that's all. Not all of us got a Big... (that's enough of that- ed.)

I hope they find something wonderful...and well, useful and remember, you can put lipstick on a Higgs Bosun…or can you?

And for those of you who just need to know the goats are alright.

** DR Congo frees goats from prison **A minister in DR Congo orders the release from prison of a dozen goats awaiting trial on charges of being sold illegally.<
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/1/hi/world/africa/7607460.stm
>

6 comments:

tinku said...

Big Bangs are often overrated.

Miranda said...

Ha, I am still trying to decide my take on this. Very funny post.

Other items in the news yesterday: I believe the second in command of Korea keeps saying that there is nothing wrong with Kim Jong-il. His health is fine. I keep telling anyone who will listen "Kim Jong is not il" but no-one finds this nearly as funny as I do. Will you? Humour me? mguhrs@gmail.com

Suzie said...

You are too funny. You know when I looked up are we going to be killed by the big atom smasher people were awfully condicending (OK I cant spell that makes me silly too)

liz fenwick said...

Hi. Here from the Black Boxes Widget. Agree that the CERN thing is a bit of and anti climax..........

tam said...

http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

Janelle said...

tanvi! man. you are so brilliantly funny. you just are. i love you for it. and CLEVER...hah....kabisa....keep 'em coming please! love always x janelle